Hello and welcome to the Eskimo page of Hobgoblins & Eskimos. Before any of you email me to complain, I am aware that Eskimo can be considered to be an insulting term for an Inuit, but I like the sound of the word and I couldn't think of anything else to call it, so I don't really care what anyone else thinks. I apologise if I may sound harsh and uncaring, but I assure you that under this hard, sinister exterior, lies a heart of coldest stone.
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The Legal Stuff
Eskimo is mostly devoted to movies - my personal passion. Yes, I am a film lover. Sometimes I'm referred to as a "film-buff", or sometimes as "just plain sad". I don't like to think about how much of my hard-earned wealth I've spent on videos and DVDs; but to save you some money, I'm going to share my expertise* with you. *Note: Expertise in this context is nothing more than my opinion.
I'm going to bring you reviews, guides and (when I can) news. I'm afraid that so far I am yet to receive any invitations to major festivals, events and award ceremonies (subtle hint to any influential people out there), so these won't really be covered.
My reviews work as follows: I'll give you some background to the production (when I can), a small cast list and in most cases, a synopsis of the plot. You won't see any point system or stars (unless I get inundated with requests, in which case I'll do it just to shut you all up), because these annoy the hell out of me. Personally, I don't think you can put every single film in existance on the same scale and not expect major contradictions. Can you compare something like Pulp Fiction to The Lion King? Yes they might both be fantastic films in their own way, but how in the name of Luc Besson are you meant to measure them against each other? Different films are aimed at different audiences, kids react totally differently to kill-crazy teenagers. So I'll try to give you as balanced a view as possible, avoiding bias wherever I can. Apart from Grease - I hate that film.
Another feature I'll be introducing is the "How To Bluff Your Way In..." section. This is for the kind of people (and you know who you are) who will enter any conversation, without a bloody clue what they're talking about. These individuals are nearly always caught out at one point or another in their lives, resulting in the loss of whatever respect they may have scraped together. Hopefully these guides will help you to stay afloat in any film-based conversation, whilst keeping as vague as humanly possible.
By entering this site, you are already legally bound to help with the following causes:
Click on the link you want to visit:
Hobgoblins & Eskimos - back to our homepage. But you don't want to leave yet...
Hobgoblin - or, if you want to go straight to Sarah's pages, try this.
Film Reviews - the most comprehensive guide to films on this website.
NEW! The Eskimo Awards - the alternative to the Oscars & BAFTAS
"How To Bluff Your Way In..." - helpful hints for those difficult questions.
Memorable Quotations - so far just some comedic ones, but the sky's the limit.
NEW! 62 Things I Learned From Movies - some vital rules for you
Who The Hell Am I? - either to help you understand me, or to remind me after a particularly bad Friday night.
Video Summary - a list of & comments on every single film I own. It took me a long time, so read.