Film News

All the latest film gossip invented by the Hobgoblins and Eskimos team

Nic Cage purchases planet

Following his purchase of a small Greek island during the location filming of Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Nic Cage is rumoured to have bought an altogether larger plot of land: Pluto.

Speculation is currently mounting as to what use Cage has planned for the planet, as a trip to visit his new possession would take many light years. The star himself declined to comment.


Dragnet Joins the Dark Side

It has been reported that Dan Akroyd has been spotted dragging corpses from their graves to a secret underground laboratory. It is believed that the Conehead has turned to necromancy to revive his flagging career. Suspicions are high that Akroyd intends to resurrect his old partnership with John Belushi to recreate their famous Blues Brothers act.

Mr. Akroyd has so far declined to comment.

Woody Allen: "Garrulous"

Woody Allen (left, yesterday) has shocked critics and fans alike by announcing that his new project will mark a radical departure from his previous output.

The film - working title Garrulous - revolves around the misadventures of a man in New York. Insiders are said to be raving about the film's witty dialogue and distinct characterisation. One stated "The only way I can describe the central character is neurotic. But I can't give too much away".

We will bring you more news on this film as we receive it.


Silverstone Spurns Sustenance

Crusading for the rights of the moral and healthy, vegan Alicia Silverstone has famously shunned meat, meat-products, milk and vegetables she considers to be intelligent. Today she took her convictions one step further when she announced she was giving up food itself.

"I just don't think it's fair," says Clueless's Silverstone, "how would you like to be chewed twenty times before suffering hours in the human digestive system? Remember - dead things have feelings too."

The star of Excess Baggage went on to explain she would live purely on sunlight, "Like the pretty flowers do." Rumours that she has been seen trying to take root in her garden remain unfounded.


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