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BAN THIS SICK FILM! |
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Toy Story - This movie is obviously corrupting the minds of
our children. By showing the concept of living toys, the makers
of this film are clearly creating the impression that these dolls
are possessed by demonic forces. It's really nothing more than a
rehash of the Chuckie films. And do you see those horror
films with a U rating? No sir, you do not. Also, by telling
children that the toys only become active when humans are out of
the room, Pixar could very easily be creating intense paranoia in
our impressionable protegees! I say to you all - BAN THIS SICK
FILM!
Clerks - With films like this on general release,
society as we know it is doomed! The protagonists of this tale
eventually come to the conclusion that their jobs are unimportant
in the "big picture". They believe that customers can
be treated with contempt, as they are worth no more or less than
themselves. How can the censors have missed something as
blatently corrupting as this? If everyone were to adopt this
attitude, the world would come crashing down around us! People
should accept their station in life and be happy with it. Treat
your betters with respect, and don't expect anything in return.
If we were all to live properly in this way, we could all live in
peace and happiness. So for this reason, I ask you to support me
and BAN THIS SICK FILM!
The Blues Brothers - Everyday, I'm surprised that any work gets done
at all. This film, rightly ignored at the box office, has since
built up a huge following due to it's release on video (another
reason to ban VCRs). In a shocking display of political
discontent, Jake & Elwood Blues shun the widely accepted
career path for persons of their background (menial tasks and
heavy physical labour for less-than-minimum-wage) and instead
turn to a life of crime. If these characters were depicted as the
villains of the film, then all would be well, but for some
reason, the depraved director John Landis has turned them into
heroes! Not only that, but the law-enforcement officers are
depicted as bumbling fools, with no skill or ability to do their
jobs! After a showing of this film, I'd be surprised if chaos
didn't erupt in the streets due to these messages. The only way
to protect our way of life is to BAN THIS SICK FILM!
Dogma - Is nothing sacred anymore? This film (made by
the creators of Clerks) mercilessly undermines the
foundations of the Roman Catholic Church, whilst attempting to
pass itself off as a comedy. The Catholic Church has been around
for almost 2,000 years & is the only christian faction that
has a direct link to one of Jesus' original disciples. It is one
of the most structured of religions and its worldwide reach
extends with every passing day. One would think that this would
make the church immune to jibes and criticism, but Mr. Kevin
Smith would beg to differ. Papal infallibility, God's omnipotence
and Mary's virginity are all called into question, as are the
personalities of the angels themselves. Things we take as blind
faith are put on trial and examined. Offensive and dangerous, the
only solution to this plague of irresponsibility is to BAN THIS
SICK FILM!
The Exorcist - This film is obviously evil. I'm not talking
about the swearing, the violence or the obscenities that are
shown on screen, as these are unfortunately present in the
majority of today's movies. I'm not even talking about the fact
that a demon is depicted possessing a young child. Instead, the
most disgraceful aspect of this film is its depiction of the
Roman Catholic Church as the heroes. This institution has been
responsible for many of history's greatest atrocities: the
Spanish Inquisition, the burning of heretics and suspected
witches. Torture, war and destruction in the name of God is all
forgotten for the purposes of this film. The consent of the slave
trade, the refusal to get involved with the Holocaust, the
murders comitted by some of its members for the cause of
"pro-life" are put on the back burner whilst we are
shown the Roman Catholic Church heroically risking their own
lives for the sake of one child. I'm sorry, but we can't forget
that. So, for the sake of ethics and morals, BAN THIS SICK FILM!
